Flashing Lights...

I know it's been a while,
Sweetheart, we hard-ly talk, I was doing my thing
I know I was foul bay-bay,
a-bay late-ly you been all on my brain,
And if somebody would've told me a month ago
Fronting though, yo I wouldn't wanna know
If somebody would've told me a year ago
it'd go, get this difficult
Feeling like Katrina with no fema
Like Martin with no Gina
Like a flight with no visa
First class with the seat back I still see ya
In my past, you on the other side of the glass
Of my memory's museum,
I'm just saying, Hey Mona Lisa,
come home you know you can't Rome without Caesar

I miss him. Very few people know who I am referring to. It's definitely not the last "him" in my life. It's him. He still holds my heart. I think that's the main reason why no one can fill his shoes. I loved him, he loved me. It was simple but yet meant so much more. I go through stages alone in my head on where me and him are. I still feel his presence around me all the time, still hear his voice echoing in the back of my head. This sucks terribly. It doesn't hurt as bad as it used to, honestly. Times like this, I wish I could just fall into his arms like I used to and he'd kiss me on my forehead. Being in his arms just made me feel like nothing bad could ever touch me in this world, like no harm could come my way. The more and more we indulged in each other, the beautiful our life became. Then he was snatched away from me for 2 years. I think I am scared to love anyone else because of this. All I can do is just be and move about in my life as time goes on I guess I will stop thinking about it less and less or maybe I will just lock it away in the part of my mind that buries all the painful things I don't want to have weighing me down anymore. No one else will have my heart like he does though.
Hopefully the person that can change that statement will fall into my life and never disappear.

She doesnt ever worry, if she wants it she'll get it on her own
She knows theres more to life, and shes scared of ending up alone